-Camera pans in-
-Fade in-

Ok, no professional screenwriter am I, I'll just stop right there. Let me let loose a torrent of crap.

WTF are you doing Dan? Why must you put yourself through this abuse and torture? That's all it is my man. Just for those of you who don't talk to me every day or understand, he went and saw his ex-fiance again (Read older entries about D&C - ed.)
Again. This is the second time he has done this. He says he still loves her, I say he just misses her body. That's all it seems to be about for him these days. He's got a lovely woman that is totally in love with him but he wants to throw her away because
"She not hot enough."

How superficial can you get?
I just hope he gets his head out of his ass before she leaves him.

Next big thing: Little M got married. Yep. Married. To a girl he dated for 5 months. Wonderful. Just wonderful. Me and Dan discussed this at length before they got married how he will be under her complete control in a few years. Well, let me rescind that statement. It took 2 months. 2 months of marriage before she had him completely locked down in the house at her command. I have nothing further to say about this issue.

I'm going to a Memorial Day get together at J & P's new house. Should make for an interesting evening. I was really looking forward to going with Melody. I assumed since all their parties were on Saturday that this one was going to be on Saturday too. It really sucked ass to find out it was Sunday. I love bringing her out with me to be around my friends. I spent so many years hiding and planning everything around my ex because of the incredibly stupid rules she had to live by and partially by the fact that I was embarressed by her. I don't think I admitted that one out loud in a long time. I was really and truly embarresed by her. I always felt peoples eyes on her when we were together, my cold gutter-sniping friends eyes... some of them at least. I felt like I could read some of their minds, they were saying
"Why is he with her???"

"He's so much better than that."

They were right. They really were. I only stayed with her as long as I did for reasons no one will ever know, save one and things I will never share here, ever.

I feel wonderful when I have her with me. I never feel like people are judging me or her. I feel that they see the love, see the happiness between us when we are together and that makes me very... very happy. All of my friends have noticed the change in my demeanor. They notice that I am not the same as I was before and the ones that know us well attribute it to her.

I often worry that I am not the best I can be for her, I try really hard. I do. I just hope that I succeed in being her hero in more than just words.

Boy, did I take a left turn at the off-ramp. Hehe. I just had to write a bunch of stuff with no backspacing.

On a lighter note: Does anyone need a new kitchen and live in Lower NY? Email me!

Current mood: Decent :)
Current # of points: 800 ish
# of people I wanted to kill today: 0 but I'm sure there may be a few later on tonight :)

Then ~~ Now

Farewell? Yeah... - 2005-09-13
Vacation, Chapter 2 - 2005-08-15
Vacation, Chapter 1 - 2005-08-15
Work update or: - 2005-08-09
Third time's the charm - 2005-06-21